Clarity, Part 2

In this blog post, I will refer back to the "Clarity" section in the Rules for Writers textbook and pick four new topics to read and review. Then, I will take what I have learned from this reading and apply it to my QRG draft.

My four clarity topics:

1. Active verbs (pg. 112)

• the passive voice lacks strength
• the active voice expresses meaning clearer 
• the active voice should be used most often in writing
• helps to add emphasis and character
• example of active voice: I finished my exam. 
• passive voice is appropriate when trying to deemphasize the subject in the sentence
• example of appropriate passive voice: The exams are graded by the professor.

2. Needed words (pg. 119)

• in a compound sentence, if the word is said in the beginning, then it is okay to leave out at the end.
• ex. "Tom is a man who means what he says and [who] says what he means." (pg. 120)
• add the word "that" when doubting if the sentence is grammatically correct
• add comparison-type words
• keep and add 'an,' 'a,' and 'the' for clarity

3. Appropriate language (pg. 161)

• avoid the jargon, or language that only people with special knowledge in a field or study would know about
• this could even include words that are used in higher education systems
• try to avoid the uncommon "hard" words
• do not sound pretentious
• sound educated, but not annoyingly intellectual
• do not add words just to add words
• steer clear of euphemisms
• they are not needed and sound pretentious
• examples: "economically deprived" (poor), "preowned automobile" (used car), "negative savings" (debt) (pg. 163)
• be formal, but not too formal
• us a correct form that sounds relaxed but not too "friendly"

4. Exact words (pg. 171)

• find the exact definition--this will help the writer use it correctly
• specific, factual nouns
• the proper noun or name
• the specific quality or theme
• the specific physical object
• do not overuse clichés 
• use the standard idioms
• idioms: speech forms that do not follow specific rules, but are set already in our language
• examples: "abide by," "comply with," "prior to," "think of," etc.
• triple check figures of speech
• do not force them, nor overuse them
• use appropriately and sparingly

Quan H. KIM. "Clear sky." 05/21/2015 via Flickr.
Attribution Non-Commercial 2.0 Generic License.

After editing my draft in relation to this list of four clarifying features, I learned somethings about my writing. 

• active words
• passive voice--use it too regularly
• ex. "However, each individual state created their own standards, which left the states to determine success by making up their own definition." (pg. 1)
• I need to revise my paper and make sure to use active voice whenever I can. This way, my paper will sound stronger and it will be written better.

• needed words
• I include words that are needed.
• If anything, I am too "wordy" with my sentences, and I do not omit words enough.
• I am careful to include comparison-type words and articles.

• appropriate language
• I did not include any jargon.
• I explained all that my readers might not be informed of (acronyms, groups, acts, etc.)
• I avoided euphemisms and slang.
• I used an appropriate level of formality.
• ex. "Parents and teachers are also adding to the never-ending social media conversation, voicing their personal opinions. Some use sarcasm to express their frustration, while others are not so subtle." (pg. 4)
• demonstrates voice and character, yet is not informal or too casual
• exact words
• I used the words according to their actual definitions.
• I need to use more specific and concrete nouns.
• ex. "Various school districts and school boards are taking more action, either against or in support of the program." (pg. 4)
• names? examples?
• I used the standard idioms.
• "by the fact that" (pg. 5)
• "until then" (pg. 8)

Overall, I was pleased to see that I followed most of the rules and tips that the book provided on these four clarification qualities. I will be revising for a few things here and there, but as a whole, I am proud of the work and the writing quality that I have so far.

--Jenny Bello