1) Nicholas Kristof, an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times uses shocking statistics, strong word choice, and a conversational tone to effectively persuade and encourage the audience to be more sympathetic towards American teachers. In his article, "Pay Teachers More," the reader learns about the positive effects that an increase in salary could create, and the author ends with a cry for help for our education system.
2) The article, "Pay Teachers More" discusses the benefits if we were to follow the title's advice. Nicholas Kristof, an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times demonstrates the need for a change in our current education system through persuasive techniques such as comparisons, statistics, and loaded language. The author effectively persuades the audience to weigh his opinion, yet does not provide a full and complete argument that embodies the whole issue.
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I might end up combining the two theses into one, strong and complete one.
--Jenny Bello
REFLECTION:
I read through my classmates' Rachel's and Annelise's theses and I have some ideas to bring back to my own personal thesis. It was relieving to know that they were having as much trouble with their thesis statements as I was with mine! Both had strong and well-written theses; they just need a little revising, as does mine. Rachel wrote hers similar to the way I had written mine, and Annelise's approach was a bit different. Rachel and I both listed the techniques that we were most likely going to touch on in our body paragraphs, and in the end, it came across as a list. Annelise touched on the rhetorical strategies her author used, but did not provide a set list. I like her strategy more, and I am hoping that I can reword and revise mine to fit that same mold. If I can accomplish this, then I think my thesis will be stronger and more professional, while leaving the audience interested into reading my full analysis.
It looks like you put in a lot of time into each of these theses. Personally I like the first one, the second seems to have some slightly awkward phrasing. With that being said, I like the mount of information you provide with in the second; it is very clear the direction you will take the rest of the essay in. If you can combine them somehow I think it would be brilliant! I can tell you definitely took note of Student's Guide's advice.
ReplyDeleteI love your first thesis statement! All of the ideas flow really well and you did a really good job mentioning the author's purpose along with the rhetorical strategies he used. The only thing I would change is I would mention the title of the article when you introduce the author in the first sentence. Also, if you can consolidate the second thesis statement into 2 sentences it will also be a really strong option.
ReplyDeleteI also love the first thesis! I find it particularly interesting, detailed, and concise. Although both of your thesis statements are well written, the second one did not draw me in, as a reader, like the first. I think that if you use the first thesis you will have a more specific and interesting paper by the end of the project.
ReplyDeleteThe first thesis was definitely my favorite! I really like the way that it flows and how the title of the article is presented in the second sentence since this is not typically how thesis' are structured. I also think that the first thesis captures a lot of things that you could talk about and expand into while writing your essay.
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